Overview of the Yearning for Belonging in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Information Guidance Sheets (part 4 of 7) - Self-as-Context

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), six core yearnings represent fundamental human desires that drive and guide behavior. These yearnings correspond to the six processes and the six points of the Hexagon Model of psychological flexibility.

These interrelated processes foster psychological flexibility, which is the ability to fully engage with the present moment and adapt behavior in ways that serve valued ends.

One of these core yearnings is the fundamental human desire for belonging.

Humans yearn to belong and care for others due to our origins as primates living in small tribes. A primate expelled from a troop may not survive, so belonging became critical for survival. We are biologically wired to track what other people need and to reward those who are cooperative and helpful.

However, as judgmental, problem-solving language takes hold, we feel we must earn our place in the group by being special, often through exceptional achievement or need. In the name of belonging, we may defend, lie, hide, and compare ourselves to others, believing we are either more capable and intelligent or more hopeless and pathetic.

These attempts to achieve belonging can lead to a sense of being alone and alienation. We become fused with the story we tell ourselves about how we are more or less than others. The yearning to belong is one of the most powerful motivators, essential given our evolutionary history. We are not the biggest, strongest, or most ferocious animals, so to survive and thrive, we must belong to a group.

This intense desire to belong can lead to traps of self-hatred, believing we are never good enough to actually belong anywhere. In ACT, we target this yearning by analyzing the function of behavior and shaping prosocial behavior.  

Distinguishing the Conceptualized Self from Self-as-Context

Concept: Also known as the "observing self," this concept helps individuals distinguish themselves from their thoughts and feelings, promoting a sense of self that is consistent and continuous across time and contexts.

Clinical Application:

The clinician utilizes exercises that involve observing thoughts and feelings from a distance or adopting a perspective of the self that remains unchanged despite different experiences and emotions. Here are some examples: